Bye bye 32

32 is a good even number, don’t you think?
33 seems to be a lot.

Tick tock tick tock..
No matter how much I wanted to stay 32, it’s inevitable to end it and start being 33.

33… man, this is depressing… thirty three..
Thirty three years old… sounds really old..

Tick tock tick tock..
On second thought, it should be 33 years young..

Note: get a digital clock so I don’t need to hear tick tock tick tock anymore!

years come..years go

I can’t remember what I did for last year’s birthday. I checked it was a Sunday. How comfortable. Not having to face people at the office, smiling to people who congratulate me, yet disappointed when the closer friends forgot (don’t you dare!).

Contrast to last year, this year I decided to have it differently. I ordered 200 pcs of tiny cupcakes, in 2 flavors: choco and vanilla. A friend who lives near the bakery was kind and willing to collect it and bring it to the office on Monday.

Not just that. Giving away cupcakes around the office just seem impersonal. I just finished reading an article of how lonely a lot of people are, that they only have 2 people they can trust. Two confidants. Can you believe that?? So I counted the names of my friends in Bali, I come up with 12 names I consider close and decided to have them with me on my birthday. I picked out a café in Sanur area, and directly texted 9 names.

Still considering the 3, as they’re already my friends even before I moved to Bali, and they are not from the office, so I’m a bit worried they would feel uncomfortable around strangers. Sure I could come up with more names, but really prefer to keep it small within the people I feel comfortable with, and not just returning a previous birthday celebration. Well, I think I should return several invitations. Yeah, I think I should.

the heroes within..

It was another regular busy day, until around 11 AM. We heard commotion, people running and one person shouted "fire!!".

I directly went outside the bubble and took a look around. And yes, in eastern direction I could see thick smoke filling the air. I saw more people walking (not running) hurriedly toward our eating area. And yes, the fire came from the kitchen. I went down rushing toward there myself.

I couldn't really see the source of the fire because the kitchen itself is a quite tall and the fire was the other side of it. People were everywhere. Some were carrying fire extinguishers, some were trying to figure out how to get another water hose to the area, a few others were just watching. We were out of fire extinguisher (bad), but no sign that the fire cease. And at one point people started to form a line and buckets of water from a near pond was transferred from one person from another.

Remember, our office compound is not like other offices. It's traditional Bali and it's organic. So getting huge amount of water could be a challenge. It worked. After more than 30 minutes fighting the fire it finally went off leaving just smoke.

Not just smoke of course, but also 700 people that have to be fed soon. A new challenge arose. Providing meal for 700 people in less than 2 hours. This was also another challenge as our office is located in a relative remote area. So we rushed calling several warungs to prepare nasi bungkus, whatever they had. We practically closed up the day's selling in 2 warungs and mugged 3 other warungs for extra rice. Food was brought in simultaneously, and at 2.30 I finally sat myself at the lunch table and had my lunch.

Some people doubt in calling it heroic action, they said it was merely survival act. Well, they could be as pessimist as they want, but I don't think those people who volunteered (the staff and managers) to bring water and even risking their lives doing it just did it to survive. They could care less about the office and kept their place in a safe zone. There was no reward offered, even if management decided to give reward it would be hard to decide how to do it. So for that, I think they should count for something.

the Devil wears Prada - the Angel wears.......

And you think the movie is fictional?

As much as I gave up watching chick lit, I decided to give the movie a go only because Meryl Streep was in it (she was fabulously mean BTW). And honestly, I painfully could identify with Andy. Minus the fancy outfits and Jimmy Choo’s stilettos, I sat there, watching myself on the movie. Running around getting things done, getting up late at night to answer the phone and taking requests (hate it when they travel), and at the end of the day feeling all worn out, burnt out, had not the energy for personal life. Crashed right away after praying there won’t be any phone calls, just for the sake of getting some (beauty?) sleep and getting ready for another hyper productive day.

BUT (there’s always a but, right?) unlike Andy, I never see myself as a victim, blaming the circumstance and claiming “I have no choice.” I do. Ever since I understood the kind of work jumped into, I decided not to settle in Bali. I chose to live in a simple kos with simple furniture, because I thought if things got soooo unbearable I could just quit, pack all of my belongings on 2 suitcases and fly back to Jakarta. Too bad Andy didn’t see the freedom of having a CHOICE. She did see it at the end, and that’s the beauty of it. Collecting all the courage she got left and took back her freedom. Choosing has never been an easy business.

So I officially have been here for 2 years. And yes, I still keep my “freedom” intact. I didn’t expect to stay this long. Well, I didn’t plan to quit sooner, as on those worse time I already decided to bear it for at least one year just to maintain a good resume. So yes, 2 years and still have no plan to resign yet.

Without going into any details, I’ve to admit the first year was very hard. The demand was extremely high. Several times, when I was reaching the bottom and thought things couldn’t get any worse, it did. At one point I gave up struggling my way and left everything in God’s hand. That very particular Sunday afternoon, for the first time ever, I felt completely at peace with my job (and boss). The demands don’t cease, but my point of view was shifted. Strange enough I could see that my boss changed too. He started to appreciate my work, even spoke about it to his guests (some even to high ranking people). Quite unexpected and surprising and kinda embarrassed me.

Life was never promised to be easy, and after 2 years I don’t expect it to be easy either. It is easier, but of course life has its own surprises. I’m enjoying the present, working with one of the most talented designer in US.

So, that’s all.

call me... schatz

I don't know why my boss' daughter call me Allie. She's the only one that calls me that and I think that's kind of make us special for each other, as I call her Nina, and I'm the only person calls her that. Even the people around her sometimes got confused when I talk about Nina (Neena) and they would just go "Who's Nina??"

Another person who recently creates exclusive bond is a colleague, where one morning called me as we were walking in the parking lot down to the office, "Aldita". Another cute name... I just wonder why my parents didn't come up with that nick names??

Ohwell, call me anything, as long as it still connects to my real name of course! Or you could also call me sweetie, cutie, schatz..

Hheehee...

Should I jump into the political game

I’m not good at it. I only say this because I’m aware that once you feed your mind in how to play your roles you will always playing the game, and you will never be sincere anymore. Everything is for the game. At some occasion I found ways to jump in, but the thought of me playing cards with these sneaky people just makes me sick. So I can’t do politics not because I’m not capable of it, but because most of the time it’s dirty and not worth doing.

Am not a moral police, not to other people, but I do watch my decisions and actions. Playing politic games is not my cup of tea, and watching what’s been going on around here just makes me sick that the past 3 weeks I refuse to sit in the same table with some of the players. Hate the idea that I have to smile at them, pushing myself to make a conversation. You know the drill. Blah.

So I’m familiar with unsolicited tasks, one of which is approving a freelance photographer’s timesheet. The first 2 months I didn’t really take this task seriously, in a sense that I trust the guy, I believe his doing his job at his best and his previous experience with my boss was good and that boss trust him. All I need to do was to send an OK email to the accounting person and money got transferred. Then I started to see some strange calculation so on October I decided to clock his in and out unofficially. I didn’t tell him this of course. Today I got his timesheet and many hours were added that I don’t think was legit. Some said he was working from home. Not only that, as I read what he’s been doing the whole month, some of hours spent were actually on personnel matter that was not even included in his job description. Add the twist, he actually one way or the other took part in the terminating process of my friend. That really intrigued me, what on earth was he thinking muddling in this issue?? And what on earth was he thinking that he could charge the company for doing that??

That would be me playing one card; another card to play is to let the company pays but will warn him that I know what he’s been doing. In the future of course I would “collect” either for personal advantage or return it for my boss. Isn’t it nice to have ‘credits’ on people?

Pondering stuff like this could really give me a headache, I’m not trained for this. I don’t want to play such games, don’t wanna kiss dirty a**es, not white a** neither local’s. I’m just grateful that I earn enough pay that allows me to meet ends and not having to play tricks to get more benefits from people around me. As for the decision with the freelance guy, I’ll take the easiest path, will go through it with boss and let him make the decision. Yes, I will tell him what the clocks I have, but I will present the possibility that those un-recorded hours were actually hours worked on boss’ projects at his house.

Until it’s resolved I think I’ll continue eating at my desk and save myself from a lot of blaaahhss..